How to Be OK with Getting Caregiving Help
Caregivers have permission to seek help from friends, family, the community, and organizations that know what you are going through and how to help with caregiving.
You’re doing too much
Many family caregivers are in the same situation. Your to-do lists are overflowing because you don’t allow others to help. This isn’t your fault and you’re probably not even aware you’re doing it. But it is something you can work on that will reduce stress and give you more time for yourself.
Why it’s hard to let go
Allowing others to help, asking for help, or hiring help is something many caregivers resist. There’s a natural tendency to feel like you need to do everything by yourself and do it all perfectly. There are three common reasons behind these feelings.
You worry that things won’t turn out right, your older adult will get hurt, or people will blame you for not doing something yourself…
You don’t feel that you deserve support or help. Or, as the spouse / adult child / relative, you’re supposed to do it all yourself.
- Lack of trust
It’s scary to trust others with important tasks, count on them, and to believe that things will be okay even if you don’t manage every aspect of the situation.
How to overcome those feelings
First, you need to notice and admit that you feel this way. Next, think about how you can help yourself overcome these feelings rather than letting them stop you from getting help.
Three tips for working thru difficult feelings
- Ease fears by regularly reminding yourself that life is unpredictable and that constantly being afraid or worried about what might happen isn’t going to change anything.
- Overcome feelings of unworthiness by talking about it with a trusted friend. Get their opinion on how you’re feeling. We bet they’ll convince you that you definitely deserve the help!
- Increase trust and reduce worry by having someone work together with you on caregiving tasks for a week before you leave them alone with your older adult.
Letting others help makes you a better caregiver
Did you know that getting help will make you a better caregiver? That might sound far-fetched, but it’s true. If you reduce stress, shorten your to-do list, and take some time for yourself, it will improve your health and mood. When you’re feeling better, you’re able to be more patient and caring with your older adult. So, feel fine with seeking caregiving help.